Yourself is an Asshole

Yourself does not believe you anymore.
All these years of bullshit, falls promises, lies, and excuses, have destroyed that relationship.
When you say to Yourself, “This year I’m gonna lose 20 pounds and stop watching all of the tv,” Yourself is like “Hahahahahahahaha, whatever.” Yourself knows you.
Guess whose fault that is? You trained Yourself to not trust you. If anyone knew all the promises you had broken to Yourself, no one else would trust you either.
The first day I decided to quit drinking it was about 9:00 AM. I told Myself, “Today is the day we get on with our lives.” And that was the extent of my plan. Then Myself took over. By 3pm we were both wasted.
The ensuing 4 years was a continuous series of more and more drastic attempts to defeat Myself.
All of these ideas, mind you, were absolutely brilliant and guaranteed to work. But somehow, Myself always showed up just at the exact wrong time and bitch-slapped me for even trying.
Then I found some people who were once like me but seemed to have found something that worked.
They walked me through my past and showed me how every attempt I had made had been completely destroyed by Myself. I became convinced that Myself had been the problem all along. Myself was stronger than me.
Nothing I was told to do was new. But it worked because I believed them. Because it worked for them. Millions of them. Turns out it was my inability to trust Myself that was the source of all this shit. And the only way to restore that relationship was to trust someone/something outside of Myself.
Trusting them was a decision.
But after looking at my history of failure, and comparing it to their history of success, that choice wasn’t that difficult. I just had to go through a lot of pain to get there.
I don’t think I even have to break it down today. This was my exact experience with CrossFit.

How is your ring dip?

ring dip

In CrossFit we have a movement called the Muscle-Up.

It’s sexy. Therefore, it is a desirable achievement.

It involves jumping up and grabbing onto two rings and performing a movement that changes the athletes position from hanging below the rings to supporting himself on top of the rings.

Many people have asked me to help them get muscle-ups, and my first question is always, “how are your ring dips?”


Ring dips are not sexy. Most people don’t like to work on ring dips. But the the ring dip is where you find yourself once you get atop the rings.

I have seen people fail the muscle up, even though they are above the rings, because they can’t do ring dips.

I have seen people get hurt getting on top the rings from lacking capability upon their arrival.

They collapse under the weight of their own success.


We often think we know what we want.

We want the success. We want the money. We want the notoriety. We want the girl. That’s great.

But we have to continually ask the questions, “Who will we be when we get there?”

If we are fat-minded, we will still get fat once the pills are gone, the boot camp has ended, and the challenge is over.

If we are broke-minded, we will still be broke once the powerball winnings are spent, or the lucky deal is behind us.

If we are selfish, we will still be selfish once the emotions of the new relationship or the new baby have faded.

What is your muscle-up?

How is your ring dip?