The Day Before Christmas at CrossFit Breaux Bridge
(Read to the cadence of the epic poem “Twas the Night before Christmas”)
Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the gym,
CrossFitters were working, and not on a whim;
Their fearless leader, had fashioned a WOD;
And he exhorted his charges, “Do Rx, Not Mod!”
The warm up was finished, and all were now ready,
Their muscles were twitching, their pulses were steady;
The clock was then set, and ready for countdown,
All eyes were transfixed; all thoughts were now spellbound;
The seconds hit zero. The tones were completing.
The WOD had begun; each member competing.
Bars were now lifted and weights were sent flying;
Some started out fast! (They soon would be dying!).
Some sounds were now rising, like grunting and groaning,
Others were breathless, still others were moaning;
Our leader had likened the WOD to 12 gifts;
Full of pushing and pulling and jumping and lifts!
Go Jordy and Holly and Corey and Kristen!
Go Kevin and Stephen and Brison and Kristian!
From a full knee bend squat to a full extend thruster,
Bodies were churning with all they could muster.
From hand stands to presses to pull ups and ring dips,
To box jumps and Burpees and front squats with deep hips,
Each member was hustling, to each station they flew,
With Joshua watching and coaching them too!
He watched them with interest, his trained eyes how they twinkled,
And when bad form was seen, his nose it would crinkle!
His gestures were helpful, his comments uplifting,
The members responded with good form and weight-shifting.
The WOD was half over, CrossFitters were sweating,
With no end in plain sight, some even were fretting!
Their faces were red, from foreheads sweat poured;
Some nearly passed out; some others were floored!
But each one would then rally, and find new conviction,
Eyes stinging with sweat; hands burning from friction!
They worked on in silence; no one was now speaking,
The music was blaring. The WOD was now peaking.
Once 12 Thrusters were reached, they all counted down,
They just wanted to end this and stop and fall down!
Each one, they then finished; sweat angels they made,
They recaptured breathing and to Josh they then bade:
Who thought up this WOD? Did they think it all through?!
“It’s Christmas” they shouted! Who made this up, Scrooge?!
He watched them intently and gave a low whistle,
“It wasn’t THAT bad! Well, maybe the pistols!”
He then cracked a smile and said with a turn,
“It’s true, it is Christmas, but it’s no time to Sherm!
And we heard him exclaim as he got back to business,
“Just wait till what’s next, the day after Christmas!!!!!!”